I'm a Runner

I am a runner...again.  In 2001, I decided I was going to run a marathon and I started running with an eye toward that goal.  I have always been somewhat athletic but in the darker days, months, and years of my young adulthood, I had a hard time maintaining an exercise program.  In 1993, at 33 years old, I went off to Army Basic Training because, for one reason, I wanted to get back into shape and, for another reason, I figured it was smarter for me to get paid to get away from the juice for a few months rather than to pay someone for that privilege.  The point is, I've always aspired to fitness even when the demons conspired against me.

So I was going to run a marathon, but I didn't, not in 2001.  In 2001, I found out how running in the wrong kind of shoes can cause injury and how running on a steeply slanted road can hurt you on longer runs and how heat effects me when I run and a lot of stuff like that.  I kept getting injured and canceling races until I finally just stopped in December and took it easy for a month.  Toward the end of the month, I recommitted.

In January, 2002 I started running consistently and building up my mileage slowly.  I figured out the right shoes and training gear. I added track workouts and tempo runs to my weekly long runs.  I designed training plans and logged my runs online. In July, I started driving to Memphis to compete in the Memphis Runners Track Club race series that goes from July through November and I ran the race-a-month required.  We started with a 5k in Overton Park and ended with a half-marathon on Singleton Parkway, going up in race distance each month.  On December 7, 2002, a few weeks after celebrating my sixth year of sobriety, I stood at the starting line of  the Rocket City Marathon in Huntsville, Alabama.

Despite the bitter cold and strong winds, I had one of the most perfect moments of my life while standing at that start line.  It came to me that there was nowhere in the world I would rather be at that moment than right where I was. For that moment, I could not improve on my circumstances.  I was blinking back tears when the gun went off.  Every step after 20 miles was a new record for me and although I went out a little too fast, all in all, the race went well. 

In 2003, I ran the New York City Marathon and the next year, the Marine Corp in D.C.   I ran 1800-2000 miles a year during those years and did a lot of shorter races.  In 2007 I did a good bit of trail running before doing the Stump Jump 50k, a trail race on Signal Mountain in Chattanooga,TN and the only race I have done that is longer than a marathon. A month after Stump Jump, I completed  my seventh and final marathon,the Flying Monkey Marathon at Percy Warner Park in Nashville, TN.  Although I intended to run a marathon a year in law school, I just didn't make it to the line. 

I got in great running shape in my second year of law school in 2009 and I have no doubt I could have PRed at the marathon distance at the end of the year.  But, I had some nagging injuries and just not enough time to run as long in training as is required to get where I want to get before I commit to a marathon. See, I am not interested in just "doing" marathons; I like to run marathons as fast as I can.  And  "as fast as I can" is precisely what I mean.  Genetically, I am not set-up to be a front pack runner.  I accepted that long ago and I now compete against myself, sometimes using other runners as motivation.   If I don't reasonably feel ready to run as fast as my ability will let me, I don't line-up. While in law school, for a variety of reasons, I just couldn't get there. I did run three half-marathons in 2010, however, before finally slacking off.

Now I am about twenty-twenty five pounds heavier than my best running shape.  Not all of my gain is fat, there is some muscle under there because I have continued to mess with kettle bells and push-ups along with the occasional run or elliptical workout.  Regardless, I am heavier and I feel it when I run.  I am a good minute a mile slower on my easy runs and they are not all that easy.  This week, though, I started to feel a little spark on my runs.  I started to feel like I could maybe crank it up if I wanted to.  I wasn't feeling that at all for awhile.  This week I will run 22 miles total and next week I will go to 25 assuming there are no issues.  I run early in the morning and I have been looking forward to getting out there for the first time in a long time.  There have been cool mornings lately and there are cooler days coming.  It won't be long before the tights and gloves come out - My favorite time of the year.

I'm going to do 6ish in the a.m. and I am looking forward to it.  I'll start at the Square and head over to Molly Barr for some hills and then maybe run up University to Fraternity Row.  I like running across the campus on early mornings and especially on weekend mornings.  Tour de Ole Miss.  I'll run down the hill by the baseball field and turn up Old Taylor and back up the hill to Faulkner's house.  It will be flat after that and  I'll work my way back toward the Square, glide by the coffee shop (I always speed up when I run by the coffee shop) and finish at the Courthouse.  My third week back will be in the books and by tomorrow night I will be daydreaming about Monday morning.

I Opened An Office

I opened an office.  The truth is, this was not my first choice.  I intended to work for someone, hopefully to work for someone or some organization that would provide me with health benefits, mentoring, etc. but this did not happen.  For a variety of reasons this didn't happen although I was in the running for several of these situations.  I have a sneaking suspicion that this is what was supposed to happen all along. 

The search for an office was painless enough and I ended up coming back a week later and renting the first office I had looked at.  My new office is in a recently renovated office building that was previously a funeral home, a fact that I find oddly comforting. It's on the main Oxford thoroughfare and within two blocks of four of the courts in which I hope to focus my practice.  I have a receptionist on weekdays, a nice phone system, access to print-fax-copy services, and a lovely conference room at my disposal.

I worked the rental of a nice set of office furniture, abandoned by some unfortunate entrepreneur, into my lease agreement.  I am steadily adding supplies to my space and enjoying this. I have a Yellow Book ad in process and I am in various stages of negotiation with  local papers regarding the getting of my name out. My number one concern now, however, is the acquisition of an appropriate hat rack.  It will rarely hold hats but I will need it to hold jackets and ties and possibly the occasional umbrella.  It has to be the right kind of hat rack, not just any old rack will do.  Once the hat rack is in place, perfectly in place, I will deem myself ready for whatever the Justice Gods send my way.

I feel like an eleven year old boy walking into the carnival.

A Child Converts to Infinity

In spite of the horror, he can not turn away  

as the funnel forms over the drain.

He stays and watches every night.

Sliding the towel with his feet, he moves

to the sink where he stops and stills,

staring intently at the cup.

On the cup is a profile of a wolf who drinks

from a cup with the same profile.

And on and on; it never stops.

The euphoria rises as he sees forever,

calmly folding within himself,

certain that there can be no end.